Tuesday 24 April 2007

Coping Alone!

It isn't easy being a single mum, do people automatically think that your coping fine because you know how to look after yourself, i'm a real single mum with no support from my family or from the child's father. So I know it ain't easy but I say hold your head up and don't feel no way to give yourself that 'RESPECT' for doing it on your own. Being a single parent means you have have to make compromises before I had my daughter I would'nt say I was wild ("yeah right") but having her has really calmed me down. She's now 3yrs and when I first had her I could'nt just go out when I felt like it, iI had a baby-sitter to think about and still have enough money to go out and enjoy myself but it all had to stop. I Could 'nt afford to be splashing out money on drinks and new outfits every week. Bugdeting was one of the hardest things for me but I've over come that now, besides it feels good when you know you've payed for everything in your yard, and that you payed for all your baby clothes and toys on your own.


There's alot of help out there for mums coping with children single handedly I would like to hear about your experiences and feel free to ask for advice


*****sasha*****

12 comments:

Don't Hush "DISCUSS" said...

what an achievement

Don't Hush "DISCUSS" said...

If you need help coping alone there is a lot of help out there

Have you heard of home start? There should be one in your area

This company is a real help if you’re a single parent. They will send one member to come to your house ( if you want ) once a week and play games with your child while you e.g. Tidy your flat, do the washing, or if the need to go to important appointments they will come along with you to supervise the kids. the only disadvantage is you cant leave your child alone with the person its not a baby sitting service but its only one day a week and they can also help you get back in to work and give you some time off for a couple hours.

If you’re interested
Sasha

Anonymous said...

Dear All
yes home-start Newham is very useful orgainisation which can offer a volunteer to help with all kinds of things see details below of how to get hold of them
Home-Start Newham 2a Hartley Avenue East Ham London E61NT Telephone: 020 8470 2600 Email: hsnewham@btconnec

Anonymous said...

that is somthing i have never heard of but they seem like a grest org

thanks sasha
xxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxx leigh xxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous said...

im not a singl parent but i can sometimes relate because although my child has a dad i am the one that has the child all day every day and when i ask the dad to watch the baby its almost as if i am asking him to babysit.

when im doing normal things i.e walk to the shop the baby comes with me whereas if the dad was going out he rearly has the added preasure of taking the baby with him.
so during the day i feel like a single parent most of the time but i do get a break of an evening.


so i would like to take this oppertunity to congratulate all the single mums and dads outthere because being a parent is a full time round the clock job so those people who do 9-5's havent got the first clue about hard work (lol)
being a single paent is so brave and i admire everyone that risies to the challange and deals with the situation. everything happens for a reason although you might hate being a single parent it can only make you stronger

xxxxxxxxx leigh xxxxxxxxx

Don't Hush "DISCUSS" said...

sasha your story is so moving


xLx

Don't Hush "DISCUSS" said...

i would like to take this opperunity to say a big thank you to all the people that have helped and supported me through my pregnancy and while i have been a mother you have all been amazing and every little helps.

xxxxx

Anonymous said...

i'm havin a hard time doing this alone babys dad planned a baby with an than i got pregnant an he left an now he has moved on an got a new girlfriend its only been 7 months its got so hard to cope i feel like i have let him down.i feel like i have failed an i'm so ashamed to admit that i need help.

Don't Hush "DISCUSS" said...

To the anon person who wrote in on 14/10/07. Please do not feel like you are alone, there is lots of support out there. Please call this number and we can help.
07908 099 089 ask for Angie

Don't Hush "DISCUSS" said...

HEY ANNONAMMOUS,

I'M A YOUNG PARENT IM 18 AND HAVE A 2 YEAR OLD LITTLE BOY.
MAYBE YOU WOULD LIKE TO COME TO OUR GROUPS WE HAVE ACTIVITIES THAT STIMULATE THE CHILDREN AND LET US ADULTS GET THE CHANCE TO ENGAGE WITH ONE ANOTHER BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE BALANCE WE DO NEED TIME FOR OURSELFS EVEN IF IT IS A CHAT OVER A CUP OF TEA.
I HOPE WE DO GET TO MEET YOU. YOU SEEM LIKE A NICE PERSON THAT WANHER KID.
IM SO GLAD YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO REALISE YOUR PROBLEM AN DDO SOMTHING ABOUT IT.
COMT TO OUR GROUP AND IM SURE WE WILL MAKE YOU SMILE

BEST WISHES
XX LEIGH XX

P.S CONTACT ANGIE SHE GIVES GREAT ADVISE

Anonymous said...

Sometimes being married makes no difference you still have to cope as though you're on your own.
I had a husband and I was in the exact kind of situation, he was never there to help me or take me out. If I asked him to take me out he would say that we couldn't afford the expense.

It was a nightmare, he was never there to give support, the teachers at the childrens school must have thought that I was a single parent because he never went to any parent evenings or open days and I had to be runing backwards and forwards like a yo yo trying to see two lots of teachers because the children where only one year apart and the parents evenings for both were always on the same day, it was so fusterating!!

There were times when I thought why am I doing all this on my own, I had a husband?!!

I had no parents or relations to help me. I had to budget to make ends meet because he was on a low wage and it was very expensive raising two young children and paying all the bills.

The only benefits we received back then was Child Benefit and that was when you went on to have more than one child.

I can't remember when this changed and benefit was given for all children. Its hard being a mother for most of us you can't rely on a man, when it boils down to it you can only depend on yourself!!
You get on with it and cope the best way you can.

It was very hard looking back at it now but I have no regrets as my children make me proud, they have done well for themselves.

Don't Hush "DISCUSS" said...

what a story alot of truth there it seems asthough you did a brilliant job you should br proud
its so nice to hear real life stories
thank you

@@
, leigh 19 yrs old